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Tea!

Special appreciation to Jen Consalvo for inspiration and “permission to play”. Sometimes it takes a professional to tell you something you already know before you’ll believe it yourself. I am, indeed, thankful.

One of my favorite moments from Burning Man 2009 was arriving at the Opulent Temple to the spectacular madness of Infected Mushroom. (Warning to my webby friends, on this side of the looking glass, this site is a usability nightmare. Why do music groups and DJs insist on weird for weirdness sake?)

I’ve been listening to and dancing to the electronic/DJ music scene for a number of years now, so I was completely blown away by their live performance – vocals, guitars and all. And after four days in the desert at that time, I thought I might actually Becoming Insane myself.

Insanely Opulent Temple

I didn’t choose an Infected Mushroom song for my “tea-dance” today because, like a lot of electronica songs, most were longer than my 5-minute water boiling window would allow.

However, I was super psyched to be reminded of this smile producing Karmic Coincidence:

• Infected Mushroom’s breakout album title – Vicious Delicious!

When you’re a small, start-up “homepreneur”, intentionally or not, if you’re lucky enough not to be wearing that hat yourself, the ITG is probably your husband, wife, partner or roommate. If that’s the case, chances are at some point you’ve experienced moments of domestic discontent when technology at the ol’ SoHo isn’t quite as quick and easy As Seen On TV.

Perhaps, you’ve secretly wished you could either fire the entire department or hire a customer service intermediary trained not to mock, smirk, roll-eyes or talk to you like you’re a child. Well, the VP of IT @viciousyoga, who has held the position for almost twenty years, has undeniably earned his tenure, so firing is out of the question. However, during a recent prolonged and bumpy total Snow Leopardization of the Hoffman-Ingber household, there were definitely a couple of days when I would have paid a significant sum to avoid a few of these scenes with my own beloved resident Nick Burns.

That’s why we both laughed so hard while we watched the most recent episode of our new favorite TV show, Modern Family. (You can watch the full episode there on abc.go.com. However, ironically, if you’re on a Mac and use Safari and have survived your own Snow Leopardizing, abc.go.com does not support OSX 10.6 at the moment, but Firefox will work.)

Raining on the Snow Leopard Parade

Like Phil Dunphy, the love of my life has recently expressed an interest in purchasing a souped up home theater. Since I can see 2 broken DVD players, an AIWA mini stereo without functional CD or cassette, a VCR (that works!) from 1985 and about 7 remote controls from where I sit, I can only imagine how much fun that project will be for me.

On the other hand, I also could not have imagined the ultimate customer service excellence I experienced after my last post. I was truly surprised and delighted to discover that between hitting the “publish” button and brushing my teeth and jumping into bed with him, my dear ITG had worked his ninja hacker magic on the interwebs, logged in to my computer and stealthily placed in my iTunes full MP3 versions of all of the Lullaby Renditions of Nirvana, even though I was once again barely making my self-imposed daily deadline of posting by midnight.

Like he’s done a zillion times over his long career as my CIO, co-CEO (Experience Officer), co-CPO (Parenting Officer), best friend and, yes, Head Cheer Leader for all of my endeavors, he set that box around my heart on fire. I didn’t even have to ask.

So, even if it’s legally ill-advised to make out with your IT Department, consider sending them or him or her a thank you note next time some random upgrade that you think has nothing to do with you seems to go off without notable disruption to your day. Or maybe just because most days you can get most of your work done most of the time.

They’ll love you for it, even if they won’t marry you. It’s a hell of a job, and it’s harder than it looks.

Thank you, ITG. You’re the best. Even when it’s complicated.

So, there. Tara Parker-Pope, I’m eating them alright. Well, not all of them.

1. Beets – Although like any normal child I hated beets as a kid,  I taught myself to love them in high-school after reading Tom Robbins’ Jitterbug Perfume just on the outside chance that lots of sex, long hot baths and beets were, in fact, the keys to life eternal. If you’ve never read Robbins, this is as good as any to start with. He’s one of my all time faves. Laughter will certainly cure you of any lingering beet loathing you may be harboring.
2. Cabbage – NYT says, “Asian-style slaw”. Survey says…”Ding, ding, ding! Yes!!!” American coleslaw is disgusting. In fact, I think all American picnic foods are gross. American potato salad, baked beans, coleslaw. Blech. Oddly, I never much cared for picnics until I married a South American. Brazilians know how to do both potato salad and beans. Oh, yeah.
3. Swiss chard – About 10 years ago, Ardeo in Cleveland Park introduced me to one of those perfect taste sensations, a diver scallop with swiss chard. It was so mouthwateringly fantastic that we sometimes went more than once a week to eat it. It’s long since gone from the menu, but I now regularly order anything on a menu with swiss chard in futile hope of recapturing that taste.
4. Cinnamon – hello, d’uh, cinnamon Pop-tarts, Cinnabon, cinnamon toast. I love her, but TPhyphenP did not do her research on this one. Americans do eat cinnamon.
5. Pomegranate juice – just add vodka and a splash of soda Antioxidants and relaxation in each little sip.
6. Dried plums – My great grandmother used to talk about prunes and bowel movements in the same sentence, so I haven’t tried this recently. However, I never thought about wrapping them in prosciutto and baking them. Anything wrapped in prosciutto is bound to be delicious, although I have a feeling that it may bring a new meaning to the term hot pocket. Thank you, Jim Gaffigan.
7. Pumpkin seeds – best when mixed with pine nuts. Blessed be Trader Joe’s for creating the holy trinity: salad + pumpkin seeds+ pine nuts = Amen.
8. Sardines – This is where I draw the line. No matter how much I try, I just can’t eat something that looks back at me. Double blech.
9. Turmeric – This one is fairly new to me, outside the occasional brush with hotdog mustard, even though I’ve long been a fan Dr. Andrew Weil. However, my new Indian food kick is sure to up my intake.
10. Frozen blueberries – What’s not to love? Each one is like a tiny purple popsicle.
11. Canned Pumpkin – I had forgotten about this one, yes, until I reread this article. If you can’t quite get yourself to jump right in to pumpkin straight from the can, try plopping a few spoonfuls into some mashed potatoes. Each tablespoon is 260% DV of Vitamin A, and it’s easily hidden by milk and butter. I keep betting on the French Paradox.

So, except for sardines (forget about it) and “dried plums” (mmm, I’ll think about it as long as the prosciutto is along for the ride), I’m not doing too badly. I knew those Cinnamon Pop-tarts weren’t so bad, even if they don’t grow on trees.

Hmmmm…

My oldest and unhealthiest habit is a pseudo additction to Coke…-a-cola

I don’t drink it every day, but there are a zillion reasons that I do, it’s a great day; it’s a bad day; I have a headache; I’m tired, etc.

And it’s totally my doorway drug to bad eating behavior: I’m eating pizza, so I have to have a Coke OR I’m having a Coke so I have to have some chips.

I know there’s nothing good about drinking soda, but I really hate to drink water. DC water is terrible, but I’ve never been a water drinker.

Anyway, I’m currently trying to break my habit with Canada Dry Green Tea Ginger Ale. Hey, tea is good for you, right? And supposedly it has 100% of your Vitamin C requirement.

I know that’s total crap, but every day, one day at a time.

What do you expect, it’s not The Real Thing.

PS – I had a Coke at dinner, so Day one starts again in 2 minutes.

And while I was on my BIG walk home earlier today, I was debating about whether or not I actually wanted to keep the trend going by trying a few inexpensive Exotic Dance classes, or Exoterobics thanks to today’s Living Social Deal of the Day.

My health, wellness and, dare I say, beauty kick lately has been greatly bolstered thanks to Living Social Deals and Groupon, sort of a Michelle 2.0.1.0 upgrade plan with hot-stone massage and IPL treatments at Back-to-Health, aVitalize Peel at SKIN in Georgetown, and some yoga classes at Spiral Flight Yoga. (I won’t mention the couple dozen cupcakes from Red Velvet.)

As the steps accumulated up the hill, I realized I had a Groupon/LivingSocial Wellness and Weight Loss plan on my hands. I decided I’ll go ahead and try the Chair Work/Strip Aerobics/Floorwork/Body-licious combo – for the blogging material. Besides, “Chair Work” sounds like a great ironic treatment for “sitting disease“.

I also decided to check out what was happening on Groupon today. Turns out it’s a deal on house cleaning – also tempting, hmmmmm….

However, “Today’s Side Deal” at Groupon – 58% discount on “Weight Loss for Tired People”. Hahaha. Awesome. Made me laugh. Okay, I chuckled.

Either way, the website made me more tired. (Tired-er?)

I hate these long infomercial-style web pages. I’m sure there must be some research out there on the effectiveness of selling this type of service because you see a lot of them, but despite my connection with the content, I’m passing on this one. Just makes me feel how much I’m being sold to. Plus thinking of 12 weeks of something -anything- makes me feel really, really tired. (Tired-er-est.)

And it’s kind of bugging me that “tired” looks like it was colored with crayons. Wouldn’t that be tiring? Is it supposed to embody tiredness just because some kid did a shitty job of coloring between the lines? I don’t know, it probably only bugged me after I had to read that 30 foot long page.

CHC, Eve Colantoni does get bonus points as a Betty Paige look alike, though.

Eve doesn't look tired - she looks like Betty Page

I would definitely take a weight loss class from Betty Page. Hell, I’d probably take any class from Betty Page, especially for 12-weeks.

However, weightlossfortiredpeople.com earns rather disappointing SEO (search engine optimization) especially for a unique business name. Doesn’t make it to the first page of Google results. Perhaps my links will give her a lift even if I’m too tired to sign up for her program, which actually sounds quite interesting.

On the other hand, I’m going to go ahead and pony up the $19 for the Exoterobics, despite The P Spot sporting quite possibly the worst website I’ve seen in a long, long time. A brilliant example of “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should” web design.

• doesn’t work in Safari
• all those crazy fonts – perhaps I’m not the intended demographic, but even reading glasses didn’t help!
• too many media formats
• a really long list of WTFs from the usability, design and architecture perspective.
• to tell the truth, this site made me tired too…

But it’s only three classes, not twelve weeks.

Besides, momma needs a new pair of shoes. Wish me luck.

So much fun, even I might stick with it. I’ve wanted to learn for several years. It’s been my “intention” to do so, but 2010 is the year!

I listen to a lot of electronica music and started seeing hoop dance performers at shows. Since that first show I thought, “I want to be that girl.” Here’s one of those girls I saw at Burning Man 2009. I was at both the FreQ Nasty and Bassnectar shows. Unfortunately, I never made it to the Hoop Jam.

Thanks to a little Karmic Coincidence (KC) – my friend, neighbor, and belly dance troupe pal Sharon sent me an invite to today’s class, and just to make sure I signed up, KC arranged an encounter with our other mutual friend, neighbor and troupe gal, Melissa, clear across town at a random Starbucks I’d never set foot in! I hadn’t seen either of these lovely ladies in a very long time, so I thought, “Okay, I can take a hint, Hoopin’ is my destiny.”

I thought I’d get a little jump on the class and grabbed my daughter’s hoop. I was mortified to be utterly unable to hoop it up. My 10 year old was visibly disappointed and dismayed, since I do generally have the rep for otherwise shaking the proverbial booty quite well, despite not doing so as often as I should. She could keep it going forever, but my hula hips just weren’t having it.

After considerable frustration, I googled “how to hula hoop” and was delighted to learn that when it comes to hula hoops, size does matter. I was hoping that this would be true and that I was not doomed to hear the constant clatter of my hoop on the floor.

So when I got to class, I picked one of the larger hoops, and what do you know? First try, I came out swinging and kept it going for a good long spin.

Surprise!ingly, we learned a number of other cool moves in this first class. Here’s a peek – from my very own instructor, Surprise! aka Katie Desmond.

And guess, what – she’s also a Yoga Instructor! Very cool. I’m totally psyched for the next 4 weeks.

I guess I also laugh when I’m by myself. You can too. It’s good for you.

Michelle Roars Like a Lion

A Lion with Three Eyes

Sssshhhhh - The Lion Sleeps tonight

LIONs make me LOL

Here’s a more professional interpretation, but it’s still funny. KISS concert preparation, that guy’s a regular riot.

Oh, and in case you were wondering why no bear?

Why, it’s Colbert -

I wish I were that apple.

I’m a nut for just about any kind of martial art, and I’ve had a crush for a while, but I guess I’ve missed the episodes where he’s busted out the cool karate moves. Damn!

And for some reason until yesterday I’d missed the story line about him being Takeshi Kaga’s nephew.

I was an early fan of the original Iron Chef when it first made it to the Food Network in all its dubbed glory.

I think it’s possible that Chairman Kaga is the nephew of this guy.

Uncle Liberace?

For the record, I was also always a huge fan.

So how about you? Are you a Chairman Supporter or a Chairman Detractor? Who’s your benefactor?

Tomorrow’s intention – not to be writing at midnight!