Before yesterday had turned more toward vicious than toward yoga, I had intended yesterday’s post to be an exercise in brevity and short commentary on another how-to piece I’d come across after discovering Rob Knowlton’s Simple Code for Posting on the Web.

I was just going to repost MDFWP and shut the hell up, but I haven’t learned that one yet.

Last Monday Rob (re)posted this brilliant “My Distraction Free Writing Program” via Frageelaytwit via terrybain via brilliantorange:

terrybain:

brilliantorange:

1. Get a pen.

2. Get some paper.

3. Fine, you baby, use your computer.

4. TURN OFF THE INTERNET.

5. I SAID TURN OFF THE INTERNET.

6. Open a program. Start writing.

7. SHOOT ANYONE WHO TRIES TO STOP YOU. WARNING SHOTS ARE OKAY.

8. If silence isn’t ambient enough for you, try the following:

Lou Reed – METAL MACHINE MUSIC

George Winston – December

The Carpenters – Gold

Miles Davis – Kind Of Blue

Remember, kids:

Formatting is not writing.

Font size or type is not writing.

Research is not writing.

Writing is writing.

Good luck!

What he said.

Also: Turn off the fecking internet already.

It’s only available for Mac, but OmmWriter is a lovely way to accomplish this. I keep stealing Dan’s MacBook to work on essays and fiction.

And work in plain text (that’s what Notepad produces for you Windows folk, and TextEdit for the MacHeads).

Plain text is the lingua franca of file formats. You can easily go from plain text to Word, HTML, whatever.

Yeah, right. Nice thoughts. Although I have to credit the article for ultimately acting as the the final catalyst to get me to start this thing, here’s a list of distractions I came up with as a result of this post -

1. I actually downloaded OmmWriter, and it is quite possibly the coolest, most beautiful app I have ever seen. And, duh! it’s an “Om” writer.
2. During the first use, however, it also provides just enough distraction to fool around for a good 40 minutes while you try to decide or imagine what would be your own perfect personal settings for the ultimate writing-without-distraction ambience – the next time you use it.
3. My 10 year old daughter came home and started doing homework in the same room. She wanted to know what I was doing when she heard the music and typing, so I had to do a complete demo of all the features for her.
4. I told her to stop being distracted and do her homework. I started mine too.
5. I wrote nearly the first paragraph then decided for some reason I really needed the internet. I realized that I didn’t know how to escape OmmWriter. I couldn’t escape OmmWriter. I hit a magical set of keys and my recently Snow Leopardized MacBook produced the spinning wheel of death and eventually crashed.
6. I now long for and fear OmmWriter. It was so beautiful. I found the perfect settings, but I think that lonely tree is there just to steal my words. The crash may have something to do with the fact that I had 5 windows and 32 tabs open in Firefox, because, well you’ll get the picture…
7. I started writing directly in Wordpress.
8. I did not heed the suggestion of writing in TextEdit. I hit “save draft” after number 5. It took me to the Wordpress login page. It lost my words. I rewrote Numbers 2-5. I’m sure they were better the first time.
9. I wonder why Terry Bain says, “fecking internet”. I imagine it said with a Scottish or Irish brogue. I realize I don’t know how to spell “brogue”. I look it up. I wonder if he’s Irish or Scottish. I wonder why I assume Terry is a he. He has a twitter post on his widget about shoe size. I wonder if he wears brogues, because I’ve just learned that brogue is also “A heavy shoe of untanned leather, formerly worn in Scotland and Ireland.”
10. Copying that definition from dictionary.com has changed my font. I fight the urge to change it back because “formatting is not writing.” I’m glad I won the battle because I realize the CSS overrides the edit view.
11. I think about how awesome the George Winston December album is. I’ve always loved it. Wait, that’s not true. It’s the Autumn album I love. (Why would that brilliantorange character suggest you listen to christmas songs to write. That’s just stupid.) I (used to) play the piano and have written some songs almost as good I think. I wonder why I have no Windham Hill music on my iPod. I know I have the CD somewhere. I wonder if I have any Philip Aaberg. I used to. I fell in love with a boy once at his concert. Later we kissed in the rain. I reconnected with him recently on LinkedIn. He lives in “the other Washington.” It was a long time ago. I’ve been in love with someone else for 20 years.
12. I realize Told or Known is an anagram for Rod Knowlton. I think anagram has two N’s. Google and Wikipedia tell me I’m mistaken. I’ve never been able to spell. I suspect I have a slight dyslexia. I remember that Richard Branson and someone else really cool supposedly has dyslexia. I decide (once again) it doesn’t matter that I can’t spell.
13. Yesterday TK posted something about a Yoga Sign. I think it’s “a sign.”
14. Today he asked about a “woobie”. I knew the answer, but someone already posted it. Both my kids and I had them. I wonder if it’s genetic. We all sucked fingers. I wonder if TK knows I’m stalking him yet. He’s very funny.
15. I wonder if I go to the trouble to find the December CD if it could possibly be any better for writing than Bonobo – Dial “M” for Monkey. That album title cracks me up, but really anything by Bonobo will do the trick. I can listen to Noctuary over and over.
16. For reasons I can’t quite put together at the moment I realize I’ve been planning to write a post about Monkeys.
17. I think of the pose – Hanumanasana – Monkey King Pose. Holy crap. I can think of nothing more awful and painful.
18. I can think of nothing more vicious.
19. So it seems like I can stop procrastinating now.
20. And just WRITE

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 6th, 2010 at 1:30 am and is filed under Blogging, Karmic Coincidence, Music, Yoga. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.